Hey, guys!

Don’t think I’ve forgotten you; I’ve just graduated and am now wrapping up a few chores before I can get down and dirty with SPORE, my gaming culture essay and some Beyond Good and Evil.

So as a brief prelude to anything I end up writing this week, here’s a few quick impressions on what we’ve seen at E3 so far:

1) The economy is down, so E3 is very unimpressive. They’re still hyping it up quite a great deal, but coming from the mouth of attendees, E3 is not great this year.

2) Impressions of individual companies’s “big announcements”
Nintendo’s Wii “Vitality Sensor”: The day I need a game to remind me my cholesterol is bad is the day I need to stop playing video games because they’re becoming my mother. The design looks like it may end up being cramp-city. Also, I swear I’ve seen this device before. Didn’t we see a leak preview image of this way way long ago? I’m getting some kind of déjà vu that tells me this should look familiar for some reason.
It’s argued that maybe it could help the game measure which is the best time to COMPLETELY THROW YOUR WORLD TOPSY TURVY like in a jump-spooks horror game, but considering we’re dealing with Wii graphics and Wii hardware here, how smart could the game possibly be for this? Let’s not forget, Super Mario Galaxy may have looked great, but the AI (was there any?) was pretty much limited to “Here Comes Mario, Beat Him Up”. Resident Evil 4 had that same idea down: “Here Comes Leon, Walk Sluggishly Forward And Attack Repeatedly”. Then again, somehow Capcom made it work with Monster Hunter Tri, too.
So, Nintendo, any examples on how this thing will work? What actual uses it has?
Enough speculating; let’s move on.

Sony’s WiiMote: It’s basically everything the original Nintendo WiiMote was supposed to be in its proof of concept video, only with dorky colored balls at the end of it which I suppose are part of the capture process. But of course, if it’s a visual mocap process, there will be horrible glitches involved as with any motion capture technology, which makes me wonder why we are still bothering with freaking motion sense technology. At least they had a technical demo. It made Nintendo’s and Microsoft’s presentations look laughable at best–then again, it’s just a tech demo–the actual product won’t be out until Spring 2010, which means there’s nothing coming this year. Except Heavy Rain. Of course. Which looks as amazing as ever.

Microsoft’s Wiimote “Project Natal”: This is basically an awesome futuristic idea that will never work because Microsoft can’t make it do half of the things in this proof of concept video with any accuracy. It is a wonderful idea, don’t get me wrong. If this actually ended up being what this video makes it out to be, I will personally send a letter of apology to Microsoft, purchase an Xbox 360 and shut up. But I’m quite sure this will not be what it will be like–it’s a proof of concept video, used for patent purposes more than anything, and the likelihood that it gets up and running before Microsoft gets set on releasing the Xbox 1080/720/3/THE OTHER ONE is extremely unlikely. This “Project Natal” doesn’t seem to have any working prototypes, and might as well be Duke Nukem Forever with the amount of working product we’ve seen.

In short, E3 this year is pretty much how I felt yesterday, standing in GameStop, scanning the shelves and realizing I really didn’t want to be there. We’re hitting a low point. The economy is bad. The games are bad. The future looks boring.

We need saviors.

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Okay, so this post came much later than it was supposed to. So sue me. I’m here.

Nintendo’s skinny comes as a surprise–before E3, they were boasting the best sales in the console race to the point where they’re no longer part of it–the Wii is no longer considered next-gen but new-gen, a new generation of “more innovative” consoles that allow new player experiences. More on that later.

The Good: Nintendo has a new Zelda and a new Mario game in the works… in theory. They’re releasing a Shaun White Snowboarding game with the Wii balance board and Animal Crossing for Wii, as well as the long-awaited Wii Music, which should have been a launch title. Animal Crossing looks great, and I’ve always loved the game. Still a complete rehash of the old game (think Ninja Gaiden Sigma but no nicer graphics) and still not enough connectivity, even if there is more (damn you, Friend Code!). But I’ll definitely want to see it at some point when it comes out. They have a Star Wars: Clone Wars, Rayman Rabbids TV Party and Call of Duty: World at War, as well, all three of which use the wiimote sensor in some fashion.

They had Guitar Hero: On Tour which is pretty much Guitar Hero toned down a hundred times and SPORE Creatures which is a Tamagotchi Pokemon Nintendogs Designer hybrid thing. There is another Pokemon game. There’s a Grand Theft Auto game on the DS, too, which is highly confusing as to how it’ll work, and we’ve seen no videos or screenshots.

They’re suggesting some eerie things about those temporary downloadable games for DS, like cookbooks and maps and information and things that generally belong on an iPhone.

There’s something interesting called WiiMotionPlus, which is an adapter which apparently makes your Wiimote more accurate. I see it a little like the Nintendo 64 expansion pack. The way it looks, it simply reads your wrist movements.

The Bad: E3 was an awful joke this year from Nintendo. Nintendo basically spent an entire conference talking about how great they were doing and how many people they’d gotten to buy their hardware, stating that their Mario and Zelda teams were “working on games for the Wii”, which could mean anything, and then proceeded to preview games we know will not live up to the hype they generate for their “Motion Sensitivity”.

The Wii balance board being used as a “board” for everything is already sounding old with both Shaun White and Raving Rabbids using it. We know Star Wars: Clone Wars is going to be a disappointment. We expected lightsabers and swords to do what we do when the Wiimote has been in our hands, but after Zelda: Twilight Princess and Red Steel I know this is a dream and not a reality. It’s not going to happen. Watching two people duking it out with lightsabers and having to waggle their wiimotes and nunchuks back and forth in order to escape a clash was immediate proof of that. Even with the new WiiMotionPlus, which looks like it has potential, but was demonstrated with Wii Sports, a severely toned-down game when it comes to calculation, graphics and content. I’m expecting disappointment. Which I’m pretty sure is impossible.

Same goes for Call of Duty: World of War. Have we all forgotten the catastrophe that was Call of Duty 3 on Wii? Is the fact that it has no number now supposed to mask that it is a predecessor of that lousy combination of bad mechanics and awful visuals? Watching people fake it out while they hold that stupid plastic Wii Shooter in their hands was painful. Come on, people. We know the only way this will work is with lock-on. Remember Prime: Corruption? Yeah, that’s the only way it’ll work. And I don’t think COD will do that. I’m expecting somewhat of a rail shooter experience, actually. And that sucks.

Lastly, what happened to Harvest Moon and Line Rider? What, were they just not good enough to be in E3? Instead, pushed aside for stuff like Wii Speak–a microphone. It’s almost as bad as Sony putting emphasis in the Eye Toy, a webcam. At least the Eye Toy can be used for a few motion-based games like Tori Emaki. In fact, the Eye Toy comes with a microphone. And yet they promote it like it’s delivered from on high.

Wii Music looks like a great idea that will simply not be as great as it looks. While I love being able to use virtual instruments to create music, Wii Music’s presentation just was not that impressive. I know they’ve been working on it for a long time, but even so it still looks flawed. Simply not accurate enough, not seamless enough, not melodious enough. The notes Miyamoto played, opposed to what Miyamoto claimed, really did not seem to match the song. Hitting the right drum on the set seemed more trouble than it was worth. Taking a leaf out of the indy DS game Jam Sessions would have been a great idea over the system they developed.

I obviously expect everything Nintendo to sell like pancakes. I expect people to be thrilled with the WiiMotionPlus. I expect Wii Music to be a bestseller that will kill at Christmas, with no other triple A children’s games being released other than Super Mario Sluggers (a baseball Mario game, surprise) and I know they’ll continue to lead the pack as everyone thinks they will. But I hate it. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of people assuming the Wiimote is “innovation,” that it’s new and different and special. It’s just another button. A more intuitive button? Maybe. Though all that does is get you more sales. The moment you make it this easy for someone to add motion sensitivity to a game, you’re no longer being innovative. You’re being a goddamn tool.

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I don’t talk much about it. Probably because I know if I start saying things about the Wii, what comes out of my mouth will end up being negative.

It’s inevitable, however, for me to say something about that little white posh console, so let’s start out saying a few good things even though we all know where this is going.

1) It’s a great multiplayer console.

2) It has games for kids.

3) …

That’s about it for me. That’s all I can really say about it. You can scream and rant and rail all you want about the magic word innovation; the truth is, the point-and-click remote control idea has been something Nintendo has toyed with since the NES Glove Controller, and infra-red technology is about as twentieth century as it gets–not to mention that it’s recycled from the Game Boy Color’s failed attempts at infra-red ports sharing.

When you sit down and really analyze it, all this new garbage they come out with for the Wii that supposedly makes you feel “immersed” in gameplay because you’re mimicking the motions on the screen has simply resulted in extremely hackneyed and gratuitous calisthenics. I remember talking with a fellow designer about Harvest Moon for the Wii; he was all for it, expecting the addition of the Wiimote to be an amazing dynamic. I continued to try to point out my skepticism because the addition is simply so easy it can be perceived as tacked on. Anything that senses motion can immediately be exploited without a second thought–example: I can make a kayaking game where you swipe the Wiimote left and right to simulate paddling. There you go. I just implemented the Wiimote in a game that should sell bajillions because it has motion sensing technology and therefore should be fun.

What all these sad game designers need to start accepting is that motion sensing gets old. Special gear gets old. Transfer packs and GBA link cables and chainsaw controllers get old. When people start seeing games like Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 and Alone in the Dark and The Orange Box come out on everything but the Wii… well. This article describes it best, and I am in total agreement. Most people I know have stopped playing their Wii altogether. Even Super Smash Brothers Brawl just doesn’t make it anymore. Nintendo’s giving us Mario Kart, but I haven’t heard a word out of anybody’s mouth about it. The little white console is fading, and keeping quiet.

What can I say? Nintendo gave it a shot. The problem is Nintendo is the only company that’s good at what Nintendo does, and like I said months ago: It’s my theory Nintendo titles will continue to sell the Wii. No other company will ever really get their fair share of the profit.

I wonder if Miyamoto’s got anything up his sleeves now.

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http://www.gamesradar.com/us/wii/game/news/article.jsp?sectionId=1006&articleId=2007112814148236064&releaseId=20070510171759869096

I kept telling everyone it wasn’t accurate.

Thank you, Nintendo.

Will this work for all games?

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I came across an odd little contraption in the Wal-Mart toys aisle the other day, and I simply couldn’t get my mind off it. It was called Tilt Baseball, and the reason it had me so fascinated was that it was modeled exactly after the Wiimote. The buttons were all in the same place. The control pad, the B button, the A button, the Plus, Minus and Home buttons–it was all exactly the same! And you played it by swinging the damn thing–that’s why it was called “Tilt” Baseball. The only visible difference (other than function, I suppose, and a few minor aesthetic principles) was that the Tilt Baseball device had a small screen at the very end where the tiny bit-graphics display was transmitted.

Finding this similarity somewhat unusual, I continued to browse through the toy aisles in Wal-Mart, Target, JC Penney and other such stores in order to see what they had in stock. I came across a treasure trove of designs that I captured with my tiny cellphone camera, only to find that my cellphone is not newfangled enough to get images onto my computer and that these same products are not actually found on the Wal-Mart and Toys ‘R’ Us sites. This is unlucky for anyone reading because they don’t get to see. This is unlucky for me because now I don’t have visible proof.

However, I uncovered everything from Xbox controllers you plug directly into the television to Guitar Hero-style toy guitars that generate more of a racket than harmony if you ask me. There’s hundreds of tiny little electronic toys and devices that step the line of something I like to call “Design Infringement”.

Here’s my theory as to why these little electronic games actually exist–which, I might add, I’m not entirely sure why game companies haven’t done anything about: Toy companies have identified and jumped into a market made up of mostly small children who watch their elder siblings/cousins/siblings’ friends/television actors playing popular console video games. Parents either A) see their children as too young to comprehend the console or see the games available on it as far too unhealthy/unproductive/violent, and so they get their children something that looks and plays almost exactly like what they’ve seen in order to placate them, or B) decide the console is much too expensive to purchase and, coming across an inexpensive duplicate, decide to try to compromise with their kids in this manner.

While I’m not exactly condemning this idea, because we all know the annoying little design mantra “Good Artists Copy, Great Artists Steal,” I have to stop and question the difference between stealing a technique and a gimmick and stealing a design. Games copy off each other all the time–we’re still doing the Shenmue Simon Says Action-Button Time Pressing Thing, but you don’t see a game called Shen-moo about a Japanese dude whose father is killed.

It’s a risky business, but it seems to be a growing trend. Understandably, too, because God knows electronic handheld games number so many because nobody can corner the market anymore; it seems to have disappeared for them, stolen by the portable consoles.

I may be entirely mistaken and console companies could be receiving hefty royalties for the handhelds produced that take on the Wiimote look and feel. If they’re not, though, I wonder what their strategy behind ignoring this rising tide. Do they think it will drain off by itself? Or is it part of a kind of guerrilla ideal, that the more their design is incorporated into the market, the more their brand will grow in fame and desirability?

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