It’s inevitable, however, for me to say something about that little white posh console, so let’s start out saying a few good things even though we all know where this is going.

1) It’s a great multiplayer console.

2) It has games for kids.

3) …

That’s about it for me. That’s all I can really say about it. You can scream and rant and rail all you want about the magic word innovation; the truth is, the point-and-click remote control idea has been something Nintendo has toyed with since the NES Glove Controller, and infra-red technology is about as twentieth century as it gets–not to mention that it’s recycled from the Game Boy Color’s failed attempts at infra-red ports sharing.

When you sit down and really analyze it, all this new garbage they come out with for the Wii that supposedly makes you feel “immersed” in gameplay because you’re mimicking the motions on the screen has simply resulted in extremely hackneyed and gratuitous calisthenics. I remember talking with a fellow designer about Harvest Moon for the Wii; he was all for it, expecting the addition of the Wiimote to be an amazing dynamic. I continued to try to point out my skepticism because the addition is simply so easy it can be perceived as tacked on. Anything that senses motion can immediately be exploited without a second thought–example: I can make a kayaking game where you swipe the Wiimote left and right to simulate paddling. There you go. I just implemented the Wiimote in a game that should sell bajillions because it has motion sensing technology and therefore should be fun.

What all these sad game designers need to start accepting is that motion sensing gets old. Special gear gets old. Transfer packs and GBA link cables and chainsaw controllers get old. When people start seeing games like Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 and Alone in the Dark and The Orange Box come out on everything but the Wii… well. This article describes it best, and I am in total agreement. Most people I know have stopped playing their Wii altogether. Even Super Smash Brothers Brawl just doesn’t make it anymore. Nintendo’s giving us Mario Kart, but I haven’t heard a word out of anybody’s mouth about it. The little white console is fading, and keeping quiet.

What can I say? Nintendo gave it a shot. The problem is Nintendo is the only company that’s good at what Nintendo does, and like I said months ago: It’s my theory Nintendo titles will continue to sell the Wii. No other company will ever really get their fair share of the profit.

I wonder if Miyamoto’s got anything up his sleeves now.

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This is the higher res (and truth-telling) version of the hoax video made by Psychothriller, a Spaniard, the creator of the Nintendo On! Hoax video. If you watch closely, you’ll spot the Nintendo On! Making a cameo.

It was simply a project he endeavored to do in order to try to recreate the visual look of Mario Galaxy and try to emulate that in a Nintendo DS style format of gameplay. He did it rather impressively.

[Edit] Seeing as the video is being ungodly and won’t load (I suspect Stage6) I suggest people wanting to see it simply click on the link, unless you have internet that surpasses the speed of light.

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It’s a pleasant, clean-looking game with graphics so colorful and bright I become somewhat disoriented during cutscenes. It’s got an intuitive control system I didn’t have to read the manual to figure out. Mario can ground-pound. Mario can triple jump. The camera ricochets from insane angle to insane angle, giving me an intense feeling of vertigo which I can only blame on the fact that I simply am not used to walking upside-down. All in all, the game really has no tender flaws or anything that turns me off from it (except, perhaps, Peach’s voice, which made me wonder why Mario would ever dedicate his life to saving her).

But as I’m playing, I come to realize that, while I’m engaged, and while I’m interested, and while I want to pick the controller up again and play the next level right after I write this blog, I can’t for the life of me say that I am having fun.

Of course, fun is relative, but in this instance the entire experience is bewildering. My brother expresses the same confusion. We like to play it, yes. It’s not a bad game, no. We haven’t gotten tired of it or frustrated with it. We haven’t been bored while playing. But we honestly can’t say with sincerity that the game is any fun. We can’t even say it’s not fun. It just… is, in some quasi-existential sort of way.

I will look up some reviews later, when I have time, to see if this reaction is a recurring phenomena, and not simply something that my family alone is suceptible to.

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